Cannot belief it has been 2 months since you left me. It still hurts and not a day goes by when I dont have an emotional breakdown moment, I am trying so hard and the thought that you are up there watching over us all is all that keeps me going at times, You keep sending Debbie & Katie little signs but as in life you are ignoring me again and I need a sign just to let me know you are ok and not causing too much noise up above. I never knew that little things like changing a light bulb in the kitchen or getting the central heating to come on could be so difficult, oh how I took you for granted and forgot all the little things you did. Peter from the Cricket Club visited me today and everyone there are thinking of you and raising lots of money for your fund. I have been invited to the Cricket Club Dinner and Dance and although I never went with you I think I might go and get really drunk so that they dont miss you too much, or I could take Jess I am sure she could do a pretty good impression of you being drunk and disorderly. I hope you like your treasure chest I am sure you will let me know if you dont, or maybe you can let Katie or Debbie know. Not long till our 10 mile walk in your honour I hope you can have a word up there and let the sun shine on the day and give me a little push in the right direction. Everytime I look at your photo I just want to grab hold of you and give you c great big cuddle and kiss because I dident do it enough when I could which I really regret. If you are missing me too and you really get desperate I hope you will go for Princess Diana rather than Jade Gooody because although the language of Jade would suit you, she really is not your type and you are used to having better than that. A poem for my wonderful Husband Steve My darling you are with me every single night and day I think of you so vividly the memories are here to stay If ever I feel lonely and feel that I will cry I only have to close my eyes and you are there nearby Life will never be the same now that you are gone But in my heart I hold a place that keeps on living on I know that you watch over us I sometimes feel you near No one could ever understand the hurt, the pain the fear. I'll say goodnight my darling a kiss from me to you And dont forget whereever I am you are with me too.